A sailing acquaintance reported rats on our sailboat. Significant damage to food containers, sundries and stores. To help make lemonade out of these rat lemons, I share my one-of-a-kind recipe for rat stew:

Ingredients:

1 mouse trap

6 oz sharp cheddar cheese

One 12-oz can spinach

One bottle cooking sherry

1 box crackers, gnawed open

2 quarts water

One tbs olive oil

Pinch of salt

Set the trap, using a sliver of cheese. Bring water to a boil. Catch rat and toss it into boiling water. Cover, reduce heat and simmer 30 minutes. Stir occasionally. Open spinach can, drain. Pour crackers into stew to thicken. Take salt and throw over your left shoulder. Rub olive oil in your hair. Eat the rest of the cheese, drink the sherry. Eat spinach out of can Popeye-style. Strain ratwater into glass container (observing personal limit of two gallons fresh water daily), and use water to rinse hair and dishes. Pour the rat stew overboard. Feeds one shark.