On this day the mountains became the bumper sticker. We left I-40, swerving down rollercoaster roads. Deep in the woods after passing a polite sign warning “Inappropriate Truck Route” we stopped to ask directions. “Easy! Follow the road past Rocky Branch Bethel Baptist Church. Don’t take the Foothills Parkway that leads to Blackberry Mountain. On the left you’ll see signs for Friendly Hill Baptist, Truth Barn and Caylor’s Chapel. Stay along the winding road past Kinzel Springs Baptist, Tuckaleechee United Methodist, Wears Valley Baptist and PawPaw’s Catfish Kitchen.”

Well then, as the Smokies loomed larger in our rainsplattered windshield, we forged on toward the pigeons, the topless and bears. Oh, my.